An Open Letter to a Graduating Senior

Dear Senior,

For the past 12 months I have envied every aspect of your life.  I envied you as you attended tailgates in the Fall, had an 8 week break in the Winter, and pretended to be warm at day drinks this Spring.  I envied you as you slept in on weekdays and lost sleep on weekends.  I even envied you as you sat in class, pretending to take notes but in reality just browsing Twitter.

But no part of me envies the emotional roller coaster that you are about to embark on these last couple of weeks.  It is a supremely terrifying feeling knowing that life as you know it will surely and undoubtedly come to an end, and you will be thrown into the “real world” whether you have your shit together or not.  I remember the emotions like they were yesterday: pride (you’re actually graduating, despite all of the exams that you didn’t study for as much as you should have), sadness (moving home, ugh), relief (will you be able to afford to put gas in your tank for once?), fear (what the f*** am I going to do now).

As tough as this is, I encourage you to ignore these emotions for the next two weeks.  If I could go back, I would take all of these emotions and turn them into urgency.  Whether you can come to terms with it yet or not, YOU HAVE SO LITTLE TIME.  Eat at every single restaurant that only exists in your college town.  Get out of your apartment and just be outside.  Sit in the middle of campus, go for a hike, take a walk if you’re too hungover for the incline of a hike, drink on porches – literally please just go outside.  Spend time with your friends and take a million pictures.  If you don’t, what will you TBT from your cubicle at this time next year?  I can’t even verbalize every piece of advice I have for you.  A year from now, these last two weeks will be memories that you will reflect on through your group chats with your friends, or Timehop if you’re really mentally unstable (like me).

Through your pride, sadness, relief, and fear, know that you WILL be ok.  Never again will “ok” consist of a day drink followed by 12 hours of sleep, but you will find “ok” in other forms.

The real world doesn’t exist

– don’t ever let anyone make you take yourself seriously enough to believe it does.  For the next two weeks, don’t waste one second thinking about what you’ll be doing with your life, or what your version of “ok” will be.

Live every moment, and live it with urgency.  And you will be ok. I promise.

Vicky’s…Not About That Bass

Right around the end of every winter, girls & women start to think about facing one of the worst seasonal tasks of all: buying new bathing suits.  My dad is always telling me that I don’t need new ones every year (true), but the styles are always changing and it would be social suicide to be behind the times.  It is truly a miserable, but necessary process.

A gal pal of mine was venting to me recently about how Victoria’s Secret bathing suits just do not fit people with any sort of junk in the trunk.  In my own personal experience, if my butt doesn’t fit in something it’s a mini personal victory because well, I don’t have that problem as much as I’d like to. Talking to her, it hit me that if I have to go up a size in Vicky’s bathing suits, I can’t even imagine how it is affecting girls with a real booty.

We continued to chat about how year after year, Victoria’s Secret puts their photoshopped, emaciated models in with the cutest styles and most vibrant colors.  And as much as I hate to admit it – the quality of their stuff is (slightly) above average.  She was so frustrated when we were talking because she has lost over 10 pounds yet still had to buy a size large in the adorable must-have Vicky’s suit.  She typically wears mediums but a snug large was her only option because the style wasn’t even OFFERED in an XL.  But she bought the suit, decided to rock it on vacation with her newly slim bod, only to find that it uncomfortably dug into her sides to the point where it left painful marks.

Hey @Victoria – what do you have against a booty?!

Of course they offer the high-waisted style – that’ll take care of the big booty babes because they all must want high-waisted, right?!  Wrong.  This girl just wanted the style that is typically advertised by Victoria’s Secret, and in return she got a painful red mark on her side. I have three real problems with this.

  1. Every girl (especially this one) deserves to feel comfortable in a bathing suit that they are paying this much money for…which leads me to the next problem:
  2. WHY are these suits so expensive?! I couldn’t find an exact number – shoutout to the Vicky’s PR people for burying all of the evidence – but I did find that it costs UNDER $2 for Victoria’s Secret to produce these items.  Would it REALLY kill them to add a little extra material, or, if they really can’t do that, god forbid they make an XL?!
  3. What kind of message is this retail power-house sending to girls? I mean here we have a girl who was feelin’ and lookin’ good, ready to drop some cash on a new bathing suit only to silently be told that she is just not skinny enough. The message sounds to me like: “We only carry sizes 1, 3, &5…you could try Sears!”

     

    Down with Vicky’s suits – up with the BOOTY!