Stop looking.

As much as I’m happy to help, it truly breaks my heart how many people could relate to my last post. If I could heal all of your pain, I would do it in a heartbeat.  But I didn’t write that post by simply sitting down and typing.  I wrote that post from my own experience, and from your experiences as well.  Now I’m hoping some of you can relate, or at least gain hope, from what else I’ve experienced in the past few years.

They say you find love/happiness/blablabla when you least expect it.  And I think, for the most part, we forget this.  Or maybe we don’t believe it.  It’s not entirely our fault…we were raised on fairytale endings and N’Sync lyrics. Now, a lot of us have come to think that the only ones God must have spent a little more time on are Channing Tatum and Ryan Gosling (not entirely untrue).  We’ve somehow adjusted to the idea that we don’t deserve to be treated like princesses, and we should be happy with just our girlfriends and a romantic comedy on a cold night and our cute outfits on the weekends. If we tweet sassy girl-power lyrics enough we’ll believe them, right? 

I call bullshit.  Do you need the guy who cares more about his friends than you? No.  Do you need the guy who you never quite know if he’s telling the truth? Of course not.  Do you need the guy who has no ambition or the one who doesn’t love you for exactly who you are? not.  But you know as well as I do that you can’t spend the rest of your life running from the entire male species because, eventually, you’re going to run out of romantic comedies.  You also can’t keep putting on the shortest dress with the lowest cut chest because whoever came up with the term ‘if you’ve got it, flaunt it’ clearly had no self respect and it’s getting friggen cold out.  What you need to do is stop.  Stop everything you’re doing.  Yes, you with the rubinoff bottle, put it down. Just stop.

Don’t get me wrong here- I’m all for romantic comedies and laughing till you cry with your girlfriends.  But when you’re ready to find someone, just stop looking.  It really is so true that you’ll find him in the unlikeliest of places.  Hell, I found him in a disgusting dorm building.  Definitely not what I imagined when it comes to telling people how you met “him”.  I found him in the midst of a downward spiral…literally.  At 19 years old, my grades, my health, and my confidence were going out the window and they weren’t looking back.  And I wasn’t looking forward.  And there he was.  He treats me like a princess.  He makes me laugh.  He has goals.  He’s smart AND he’s athletic (who knew this was possible?).  I didn’t try to find him.  I didn’t even want to find him.  I was just fine with continuing on the destructive path I was on and I finally had stopped looking.

I don’t mean to sound cliche…I really don’t.  But I believe in this one.  So get up, dust yourself off, and take off those heels you know were never worth the blisters.

When you’re ready to find him, just stop looking. 


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